Blog
Indian families plan weddings with a sequence of rituals that involve both sides of the family. The process begins months before the ceremony and continues for several days after the main event. Each step has a purpose and follows cultural norms that have been passed down through generations.
Pre‑wedding arrangements
The first formal step is the “Snehmilan” or meeting of the families. The elders discuss compatibility, caste, sect and other considerations. If both families agree, a date is chosen according to the Hindu calendar. The chosen day often follows auspicious timings called “muhurat” and is confirmed with a priest.
A “kankotri” is prepared for the bride. It is a small, decorated room where she stays before the wedding day. The family decorates it with flowers, lamps and a picture of the bride’s ancestors. The groom’s family prepares a similar space for the groom, usually at their own home.
The “Roka” ceremony marks the formal acceptance of the alliance. A small gathering of close relatives exchanges gifts and sweets. This event is recorded in the family ledger and signals that the families have committed to the upcoming marriage.
Rituals in the weeks leading to the wedding
Several days before the ceremony, the families perform “Haldi”. Turmeric paste is applied to the bride and groom by relatives. The paste is believed to cleanse the skin and bring good luck. The event is held separately for each partner and is followed by a simple meal that follows a satvik diet.
The “Mehndi” ceremony follows for the bride. Female members of both families gather to apply henna designs on the bride’s hands and feet. The designs are symbolic and are not discussed in detail here, but the gathering strengthens family bonds.
A “Ganesh Pooja” is performed at the bride’s home. The priest invokes Lord Ganesha to remove obstacles. The family offers fruits, flowers and a small amount of sweets. This pooja is repeated at the groom’s house a day later.
The wedding day
The day begins with the “Baraat” for the groom. He travels to the bride’s house on a decorated vehicle, accompanied by family members who sing traditional songs. The arrival is marked by the ringing of a bell and the lighting of lamps.
At the bride’s home, the “Jaimala” ceremony takes place. The bride and groom exchange flower garlands. This act signifies mutual respect and acceptance. The families then sit together for the “Kanyadaan” where the bride’s father places her hands in the groom’s, invoking the blessings of the ancestors.
The central ritual is the “Phere” or “Saat Phere”. The couple walks around a sacred fire seven times, each round representing a vow. The priest recites verses in Sanskrit and the families listen attentively. The fire is kept burning until the final vow is spoken.
After the “Phere”, the “Vidaai” occurs. The bride’s family bids her farewell with tears and blessings. The bride carries a small pot of rice, symbolising prosperity for her new home. The groom’s family receives her with a warm welcome.
Post‑wedding customs
The next day, the couple visits the groom’s home for the “Griha Pravesh”. The bride steps into the doorway with her right foot first, a sign of entering a new household. The family offers a bowl of rice and a coconut as a welcome gesture.
A “Reception” may be held in the evening. It is a gathering of extended relatives and friends. Simple vegetarian dishes are served, adhering to a satvik diet. The focus is on sharing meals and offering good wishes.
Finally, the families observe a “Satyanarayan Pooja” on the seventh day after the wedding. The ceremony thanks the deity for a successful union and seeks blessings for a harmonious life.
These steps illustrate how Indian families coordinate a traditional wedding. Each ritual involves both families, emphasizes respect for elders, and follows a set pattern that has been observed for generations.